5 questions to ask your partner before you register

While most engagements kick off with a bent knee and very important question, “will you marry me?” is only the beginning of a season of queries. Indoor or outdoor ceremony? Chicken or fish? Live band or deejay? Between “yes” and “I do,” so many details beg answers that it can be easy to forget: You should be asking your own questions, too. Particularly when it comes to building your gift registry, posing the right prompts can streamline your priorities, making it more likely you’ll get what you both want and need.

We crowd-sourced Instagram to learn the five things you should ask your partner before you register, according to newlyweds who learned from experience.

“What are our short-term needs?” 

Think of your wedding registry as a chance to solve any room for improvement at home in a snap. New towels can rectify scratchy ones, art can fill blank walls and matching mugs can streamline a hodgepodge collection. Compiling gifts that meet your immediate needs, from fresh bed sheets to living room reading lamps, can have an instant affect on your day-to-day happiness—in case you need even more to smile about.

“What are our long-term goals?” 

Weddings are all about imagining your future together. As you and your partner think about what you want that to look like, think about what wedding gifts can support those long-term goals. Maybe you eventually want kids, so an expandable dining table makes sense. Perhaps you’d like to host friends and family more often, flex a burgeoning green thumb or save up for a big trip. Whatever it may be, your registry can help lay the groundwork.

“Do we need to replace anything we already own?

If you already have an established home, together or separately, you may feel like you don’t need to register for much. But good news: This is your opportunity for a free glow-up. Think easy upgrades on your household items that have seen better days or swaps for hand-me-downs that better fit your current style. Take stock of any tears, holes or stains across your linen closet and any outdated appliances or electronics—and register for modern versions.

“What gifts would hold meaning?” 

While the future may feel far off, the life you’re building now will lay a foundation for years—even generations—to come. What kinds of gifts would hold special significance for you and your partner or carry some symbolism of your wedding day or marriage? What kinds of items could you picture yourselves passing down to children or grandchildren? If you’re looking to invest in your first piece of quality furniture, a leather armchair is timeless, will patina beautifully and only get better with age. Even small-scale items can carry big meaning: A commemorative tree ornament, or a tablecloth or champagne flutes that evoke memories of all the celebratory milestones they ring in.

“Will we really use that?” 

Every couple is different, and something that may seam like a cornerstone of one relationship might not make it out of the cupboard for another. Edit your list according to your daily life—like whether you’re hot or cold sleepers, your mornings start with espresso or your evenings end with nightcaps. Nix the things you think you “should” register for out of obligation or tradition, and focus on things you know you’ll use. If you register to your lifestyle now, you won’t clutter your storage later.

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